Let’s learn how to comfort a mom postpartum. Postpartum can be a difficult season for moms. The good news is you’re more than likely reading this because you have a wife or close friend in postpartum. Even better news is that YOU are exactly what they need. They need someone to help them during this difficult time. Yes this time is wonderful holding a sweet newborn baby and caring for it.
But like most things in this world it also comes with its challenges too. Now, let’s begin by understanding the basics of postpartum. Disclaimer: I will say I am not a doctor (no surprise) but am speaking from personal experience and experience of other mothers I have asked about in their postpartum season. This post is intended to serve moms. If there are any alarming signs(self harm or harm to the infant) from the postpartum mom, it is important to seek professional help right away.
The Fourth Trimester
Postpartum, otherwise known as the fourth trimester starts from the time the mother gives birth to 12 weeks. The health of the mom during this time is important as it was during pregnancy. Mothers experience physical and emotional exhaustion. Physically exhausted can be from the lack of sleep and not a whole lot of physical rest that the mother desires.
Especially for a breastfeeding mama. Newborn babies eat just about every two hours. Sometimes these feeding sessions last up to 40 mins. The time it takes to feed in the early stages of the babies life is exhausting. Breastfeeding takes a ton of energy away from the mom because she is using her body to fuel another human.
Emotionally it can be exhausting if you have a crying baby and to adjust to living with a new baby. Sometimes anxious and depressive thoughts come to the mother’s mind in the safety of her or her baby. Some of these behaviors can lead to postpartum anxiety and postpartum depression.
From my experience, I would have anxious thoughts about my baby. If someone else was holding him I would be fearful that someone would drop him or hurt him because they weren’t being cautious. I also would be anxious about people kissing my baby because I didn’t want him to get sick.
Some moms might think “mom life” isn’t how they imagined it would be. It can be hard or disappointing for a mom to go through. Lots of emotions can flow from a postpartum mother and can make them feel lonely. Moms need to be comforted and we can start to do so in the following five ways.
How to comfort a mom postpartum?
Time to comfort a mom in postpartum. Before implementing these ideas be sure to converse with the mama for proper etiquette for the mom’s boundaries with her new baby. For example, some families don’t want visitors right away (Like me). Some families want to be alone for a while to soak up the new baby snuggles and for any other wishes they may have. Other etiquette practices could be to ask when the family is allowing visitors. Or to ask if they are letting people hold the baby yet.
It shows them that you respect them and care for their needs than your own wants. Here are five ideas that are a good starting point on how to comfort a mom in postpartum.
1. Be Present
One of the best things is just to have someone next to you. It is easy to feel lonely during the postpartum season. A mother will feel your support when you make yourself available to her. If you live near by you can ask before you stop by and see if she needs any help. One of the most helpful ways to offer help is to look toward the needs of the mom first. I know it is exciting to look at the new baby.
Of course, that is the main show. However, being present in a way that is respectful to the Mother of the new baby is the most important rule. Be present and available for mom if she needs help around the house or simply through conversation. Just be you.
2. Cook a meal
Let me tell you. Having a newborn will be physically exhausting and yet the best thing in the world. Mom and Dad don’t want to miss a thing that the baby does. One of the best ways to help a mom postpartum no matter how long they have been in postpartum is to bring a meal by. Prepare a meal for the whole family that is homemade or one of their favorites. If thats a meal that you bring to the house and you all enjoy it together. Or if the meal is dropped off at their door step.
All meals are appreciated and a BIG helping hand. For all of you bakers and chef’s, this is the time to show off your skills and help a mama out!
3. Clean up
Following up on a home-cooked meal is a clean home. When you go to visit mom and baby is important to shift your mindset from your wants of holding and loving baby to how can I serve mom and baby. When you walk into the house observe and see if there are any dishes in the sink or a pile of laundry that needs to be folded.
The mom GREATLY appreciates your love and your acts of service. Like mentioned earlier. Mom, can be so exhausted and the last thing on her plate that she wants to think about is cleaning. If this is a mama with multiple kids see if you can help clean the other kids room or pick up toys. The list is endless we all know that moms have a running to do list of task and helping clean can be checked off the list.
4. Give an encouraging word.
You might ask yourself, What do you say to someone who has postpartum? Words matter and nothing better than some uplifting words from a friend or spouse.
Proverbs 12:25(TPT) tell us, “Anxious fear brings depression but a life-giving word of encouragement can do wonders to restore joy to the heart.” I read this and can’t help but think how much I love God’s truth. How many times have you felt encouraged by someone by simply receiving a couple of words to lift up your spirit? You don’t have to say much to lift someones spirit. You simply tell them that they are doing a great job at being a Mama. You can tell them, “Keep up the good work.” These are great starter phrases to encourage a mom. Of course you can make it more personal and unique by the relationship you have with that person.
5. Remind them that they are loved.
Romans 8:38-39(TPT) ” So now I live with the confidence that there is nothing in the universe with the power to separate us from God’s love. I’m convinced that his love will triumph over death, life’s troubles, fallen angels, or dark rulers in the heavens. There is nothing in our present or future circumstances that can weaken his love. There is no power above us or beneath us-no power that could ever be found in the universe that can distance us from God’s passionate love, which is lavished upon us through our Lord Jesus, the Anointed One.”
Nothing can separate us from the Love of God. Remind them how much God loves them and how he is with them in every season of their life. He is with you through any troubles you face in postpartum (including postpartum depression and anxiety). Postpartum can be very lonely. For me, it was hard adjusting to being a stay-at-home mom. It can be easy for moms to build up resentment with their husbands. To help ease tension of unstable thoughts its good to remind them of their influence and purpose.
Remind them of how important they are to you and how important they are to the baby they are raising. Even better if you write a note about how they are loved so they can look back at it later. But of course, looking them eye to eye will show your love for them.
Way to be a good friend
Doing these steps can help be a good friend to a mom going through postpartum. Cheers to you for taking the steps to help a mama. We are made for connection and being there for a mom in need is uplifting for them and the calling fro their life. We are in this together.
If you felt like this blog post was helpful to you feel free to share on social media and tag us on Instagram.
“Dear Friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” 1 John 4:11.